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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

10.06.2025 00:16

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By taking turns talking.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

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By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.